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A Tree in the Forest

from For Frogs and Trees by Kristin Gordon

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about

Trying is hard. Sometimes I feel cursed to have a perspective that sees a big picture more easily than a small one. From that vantage, living in this culture can be difficult. I often identify with trees, who stand witness over many years. They may not have mobility or the ability to change people’s minds, but they have shade, and fruit, and wisdom of their own. Every year they grow a little more, and if we knew how to ask them, I think they would have a lot of wisdom to share.

So I try. Or at least, I try to try. Even if it is in a small way: in a small patch of soil that I am rooted in, in the small bit of comfort that I can give to someone else, or nurturing one small thing and helping it grow.

And the idea of laying down at the end, of disintegrating and being eaten by beetles is incredibly comforting to me--to go back into the nature that I came from, after I tried my best to be of benefit to it. It may not be a blanket of comfort to everyone, but knowing that even my humble, temporary body is part of a beautiful and natural mystery helps me feel like I’m part of a bigger whole.

lyrics

I am a tree in the forest,
stretching up for my patch of sun.
And I can't grudge the tree growing next to me,
for a light that's more easily won.

I've grown in the soil I was given,
and I've dug my footing deep,
where the land and the roots have woven a mystery
and the Spring an Sap will keep
company on the longest days
when the birds and bees light,
and they'll clothe me in layers of moss-covered bark
for the wind that comes up at night.

I will breathe deeply.
I will breathe slow.
I'll take in what I'm given,
And use it to grow.
I'll give what I can
in the ways that I know.
I will breathe in.
I will let go.

And when I fall to the ancient floor
with or without a sound.
My bones will be marked by the beetles and ants
that live in that sacred ground.
And any grain of self that I've known
will be eaten or crumbled to dust
and will nourish the soil where a seed will fall
and all will be as it must.

credits

from For Frogs and Trees, released May 19, 2023
Kristin Gordon, music, performance, production
Erin Christensen, cello
Miranda Kanter, mastering

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Kristin Gordon Portland, Oregon

Kristin Gordon is a singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist living in Portland, OR. She loves coffee, singing in harmony, laughing, and looking for meaning in everyday things. When she’s not writing words & melodies, she’s often directing choirs or teaching young fingers to play the piano. ... more

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